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Sibling Rivalry Looks Worse Than It Really Is

By: Shevach Pepper

Sibling rivalry is found in most families and is not uncommon. Dont stress when your kids fight and argue amongst themselves, it is part of the growing process. This does not always happen in every family but it does happen a lot.

As long as the children have a good relationship and seem otherwise happy, it is nothing to worry about. If sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child, this should be dealt with. Ignoring it will not make it go away and it could cause your child problems when it comes to making and maintaining relationships with others in the future.

Reasons for siblings to be jealous of one another, to provoke one another and for sibling rivalry include:

Jealous or aggressive personalities

Low self-esteem

Very little social skills

People who have low self esteem are often unhappy with themselves and are in search of validation others. This is especially true family members. As they attempt to find this validation they can become extremely envious of others around them. A person in this situation who also lacks social skills may act up when they are with siblings. He or she may also be provoked easily which is the main cause of sibling rivalry.

Dealing with Sibling Rivalry

When it is possible to deal with unhealthy sibling rivalries indirectly, this is the best solution. Direct wheat dealing with sibling rivalry may impair as though you are taking sides. This may result in one child feeling as though they are being victimized and then becoming withdrawn or aggressive while blaming you for the situation.

Dealing with this problem? Here are some tips:

Make sure the child has plenty of attention, love and support.

Spend extra time with child that is having difficulty fitting in. Uses time to boost the childs self esteem and make this child feel important.

Evaluate the causes of this childs unhappiness.

Give your child encouragement to confide. Be cautious and keep your temper, shouting at the child or upsetting the child is counterproductive.

When he has calmed down, ask him what he would advise a friend of his to do in a similar situation. He might come up with some original and helpful ideas.

Talk to his teacher at school. Ask for solutions or advice. Remember that teachers have plenty of experience when it comes to dealing with children. You can make a plan with the teacher of how to help the child.

If needed, you can visit a child psychologist just for information (dont bring the child along).

At any age a child can start provocation and jealousy. This is usually started in childhood when the child is finding who he is. This might also start when the child hits puberty, adulthood, or adolescence; it just depends on where they live and what kind of life they live. It is easier to deal with if the child is younger because when they grow up and move out they arent going to want your advice.

Sibling Rivalries in adulthood

If you have adult siblings are having a problem that is affecting the whole family it is time to intervene. Here are some ways to intervene:

If you have a good relationship with your child, try to get him to discuss the problem. Remain impartial and don't me judgmental.

You might want to get a fresh eye on the subject; get a close friend or relative to help you with dealing with the problem and talk to the child.

Have an objective person mediate between the two siblings.

If the second sibling is more likely to accept advice, talk to him first. You will need a lot of tact and discretion.

It isn't easy to build self-esteem in children, especially after things have got out of hand and they have begun fighting with others. Don't give up and do keep working at it though. A lot of the most successful and happy people I know grew up with strained sibling relationships but things worked out fine in the end. If you make the effort, things will work out.

Article Source: http://www.articlebankonline.com

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